nicholemischkeuncovered | 5.5k Reach
I am Nichole Mischke and I am on a mission to uncover stories of pain and shame, whatever that might look like in your life.
I battled bulimia for almost 10 years. I am standing here today amazed by two things:
1.) That I was even able to overcome my battle with an eating disorder because at times, I truly believed it would kill me and that there was nothing that could help me stop.
2.) That I'm actually admitting my struggle and talking about the one thing I once swore I would never admit to!
I had successfully hid my secret from every single person in my life. I had never even told my husband who was around me for most of my battle. At my worst, I was vomiting more than 12 times a day probably. However, I had mastered doing it in secret. I would isolate myself so that there was zero chance of getting caught. My battle and story is full of many shameful secrets that I never thought I'd ever admit to. For example, I would steal food from the community kitchen in my college dorm and I would even keep paper cups in my car so I always had a place to get rid of the food I had trained myself to feel guilty to eat.
I actually overcame my battle through years of self-therapy (which is incredible all on its own) but even after feeling like I finally had control of my issue, I had never admitted my struggle to a single person. For me, at the time, this was the greatest victory! Not only had I overcome my problem... no one knew! "Thank God I will never have to tell anyone about this or risk getting caught," I thought.
However, I wasn't so naive to think there was zero chance of me relapsing and what I slowly started to realize is that my secret was eating away at me from the inside out. I was becoming a person I didn't like - short tempered around my husband and children and when I was "in a mood," I would hurt the ones closest to me. I knew I needed to uncover my shame if I was going to stop the vicious disabling grip that my secret had on my life. AND I knew that finally opening up would be one of the best ways to guarantee I never fell back into my struggle.
This is the audio recording of me sharing my story for the very first time. It explains a lot about my struggle and the factors surrounding it and I invite you all to listen: https://tinyurl.com/ycgy7w7s
While I hope my story can help stop and prevent eating disorders, there is one key lesson I think everyone can take away and that's that THERE IS POWER IN UNCOVERING YOUR PAIN AND SHAME! Whatever it looks like in your life!
Sharing your pain is not only healing to you, it's healing to those who hear about your experience and what you've gone through!
I am here to help you share about the pain and shame you've experienced in your life.
Female, 33 years old
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