A key sticking point in today’s “Big Tech” hearing, aside from Jeff Bezos’s broken video feed and Representative Greg Steube’s complaint that his father isn’t receiving his emails, was Facebook’s relationship to Instagram. Namely, the allegation that Mark Zuckerberg’s decision to acquire Instagram in 2012 was motivated by the desire to neutralize them as a competitor—something that would definitely check the “Big Tech Is A Monopoly” box that the founders of Facebook, Apple, Amazon, and Google explicitly intended to dispute. Instead, Zuckerberg argued that Instagram was not a serious competitor at the time and that the acquisition is what allowed the app to grow into the behemoth it is today. I can’t speak to the validity of that, but I can authoritatively say this: For someone so interested in Instagram (per emails obtained by The Verge), Mark Zuckerberg sure is bad at it.  

The ideal Instagram aesthetic has fluctuated over time, but without fail, Zuckerberg has managed to miss the mark with every single post. Even for the early days of Instagram, the CEO’s initial posts are all-around unpleasant to look at.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck) on

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck) on

In April 2011, Zuckerberg posted a picture of his MacBook Air keyboard with an old-timey filter. He declined to provide a caption, but if he did, I can only assume it would say “This was an accident.” Two months later, he posted a similarly filtered picture of Lucozade, a soft drink made in the United Kingdom, next to a pair of scissors and a shoebox. “European Gatorade,” he clarified in the caption.

As the years went by, Zuckerberg, like many other users, abandoned Instagram’s filters, but that did not make his photos any less unsettling. In May 2017, he posted a photo of the “meat-shaped cake” his team got him for his birthday, saying, “This made me smile.” I cannot say the same.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck) on

A day later, Zuckerberg attempted to dabble in video, showing off Instagram’s new filters with the dexterity of your average Old Navy mannequin.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Mark Zuckerberg (@zuck) on

But my most recent complaint comes not from a photo that Zuckerberg put on Instagram, but one he still hasn’t. Mark, follow in the footsteps of Gen-Z and post this unflattering, heavily-memed sunscreen photo to your feed.

I’d say then you can get on TikTok, but Facebook is already copying that, too.